reflections(:

reflections;
this year's been different. a whole new life. everything changes. lotsa changes. at the beginning, i tot it wldn't be much different from wat i've been living the past few years. probably just with more studies and tennis. but i've been proven wrong. yeah. hell wrong.

many things happened in between. since the ending of last year til now. never had so much things happened tgt within such a short period of time. yeah. i've felt much between this period. knowing wat type of life i'll be leading-sorta. i dont regret going to cedar anymore. i know i've made the right choice(: [well, maybe a lil. cox i'm in a diff sch from sandra and chelsea): ] but i've made great friends. ppl whom i'm able to open up to and share my tots and feelings, my inner most secrets and trust that it'll nvr go anyway beyond them. i've learnt to treasure this ppl ard me cox i know nth can be forever. even my family. i have to admit that i've been rather rude and disrepectful to them. but despite that, they still loved and cared for me as much. so i know its time to show i cared too. before its too late and regret. i'll control my temper. i will(:

many 'first time' things happened this year too. first time that i cried so hard because of cheerleading. most ppl wld just think, 'oh come on, its just cheerleading. there's no need to cry til like that rite?' but wat you all didnt see/know was how much effort, blood and sweat we put in just for that pityful 5mins or so. but it got screwed up and we felt that all the effort we put in went into the dumps. yea. probably others cldnt understand it cox they nvr encounted it but yea. we cried cox we felt everything at that time was against us, all our efforts was wasted & cox we cared and tot highly of it. its hard to explain. anwys, on that same day i truly felt the care&concern of my classmates towards me. so much hugs and encouragements. i was so touched. another reason i cried even harder cox i felt i disappointed you all. but you all were being so great. truly. and tats why i treasured our friendship even more. cox i knew i could depend on you all. thanks for standing by my side(: loves.
and of cox theres more. learned many truths. some good while some...not to :/ cried over some, but rejocied at some too. im not gonna elaborate cox its rather personal(: so hmmm.. yea.
& besides that, many bondings between each other and i tot it was great(:
i miss last year. i miss the old life i lived. crawling under the bus chairs in knidergarten. lol. but i know time cant be turned back.and at the same time, i do hope to continue this type of living which brings surprises. i wanna know wats up for me in the nearing future. i wanna advance further.

probably its the first time for many many of you to see me really giving a real reflection abt everything :/ but i tot it was time. time to learn that things are impermenant. time to learn to live life to the fullest, choices; choosing the right path and the path that i know i'll be dedicated to it. & not giving it up halfway.

its fascinating that i only truly understand myself and am able to reflect at unearthly hours at night. oh and that amazingly, im wide awake tonight at this time.lol.

im still young(:
believe me,
i will change(:
[psst:not trying to imply that you're old. but if you think you're then, OH WELL xp]

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spex nearing.
haave faith.
i'll do well(:

currently playing:
ashley tisdale - headstrong.
thanks mei!<3