Songs for you, Truths for me

Nothing seems to be post-worthy now. Ram keeps complaining that my blog is vague, boring and plain. Meh. Wonder how I used to be able to pen down all the thoughts that went through my mind and vividly describe the scenes and events from the day over and over and over again; having so many unforgettable one. The past ones seem to be more vivid than the recent ones. Maybe unwillingness to recollect them ties in too. Sigh. Let's try though.

Today was training. Saw the way in which the team played and rallied. Emily really improved a great deal; seeing how her strokes are so much smoother now and her balls going with a much increased pace and spin, serve too. So did Jinnie and the rest of the team. These made me unconciously remember of the times in OCC and Cedar with the teams. JailBird, FiringSquad, DuckWalk, AroundTheWorld, KingOfTheCourt, StepLadder, Suicides, Spider, ServicePractice, Ridiculous goals to be achieved, BobSlay.. and so on. Times when we played games, trained and even did and endured punishments together. I remember the times with the OldTeam where Coach will drive us to the dam and alight us there to jog a good 6km back to the Club. Or times where Auntie Jean, Uncle Eddie and Coach will fetch us to Kallang to train before racing back to OCC, with the loser treating Milo. And Coach's drifting and shortcut in OCC. And the super running away from Elgin because anyone in his JailBird team will lose, or the recess/lunch breaks we all get to snuggle up in coach's cram&smelly office covered in OCC towels and still sleep peacefully, or smuggling off to go bowling, then getting takan-ed by Coach to complete ridiculous goals, but getting treated to a suite rest later hehe or times with the NewTeam doing 3 courts running, push-up-sing-song-counting punishments which we all are such failures at, Sweaty Shaun hugging coach and so much more. But I guess most people probably heard of all of these tales before and maybe even so many times you get so sick of listening to it, but probably to me they were amongst the happiest and best times I ever had in my life. And you know how you feel about the best times in your life, you simply just can't get over them. And the way to remember them is to keep repeating them in your mind, where they come naturally and spontaneously, and where one event leads to another, so fluently. There could be even better times in future, but those would always have a place left up for them. But if there where ever one day I started rattling on about them to you again, just tell me. I'll keep it to myself. My safe heaven. Haha.

But that isn't the point. The point is, that was my peak, still. I remembered how I was afraid to achieve and strive for the highest then, not because I was afraid of failure, but because I was afraid at how people might look at me, how they might take me competitively instead of the usual way, how I didn't want to overtake others cause it will seem to me as if I am stealing their position of 'the better one'. Haha. That team to me was Gem. I didn't want to make enemies with anyone. Soon after the big switch, things changed. I saw my improvement. It was the greatest improvement I ever had, so far. 3 months made a whole difference. I didn't know what was the drive, I didn't know where the force came from, I just knew I had to perform. -Oh yes! Water resistance training and Botak Jones& MadJack! and gymmm and beach tennis. hahaha- Oops, sidetracked. heh Nonetheless, what I'm puzzled about now is that, why is it that over the years I seem to be getting lazier? I used to be smarter, used to have that drive, used to be able to push myself to the limit, used to be able to be flexible and apply my learnings effectively and do so much more. Now, everything's just getting lesser. I see people improving, I know I was there before, I see people doing things, I know I can do it, but I can't exert the same amount of effort as i did before. I don't have the perseverance I had before. Lol Is comparison good?

Hey, I did it. Heh

But there's so many subtopics in there all jumbled up and mushed together. But I don't want to sort them out, because that's how I remember them as. heh And if you read each and every word of the whole above passage up til here, tell me if you do. Because, I applaud you. Not many people will, in fact hardly anyone will. Because the world doesn't have many good and willing listeners.

Some quiet time? Haha

Hate making decisions.

Hate choosing.

Like what Ram was saying in the trip. Hate the girls life. LOL