We're as strong as our weakest link

So the exams have ended.

And I've realized, some things cannot be explained verbally; through words. Even words isn't magic. Some things need to be felt; because unless you feel it like those who do, will you truly understand.

To all the people whom I've told about how relieved and joyful that my exams have ended, responses has varied immensely as well. But it is expected isn't it, since like I've earlier mention, that unless you feel the way I, in this case, do, you won't be able to understand it. So a little epiphany from this, I've learnt not to blame them for the response they've given (though it is still, undoubtedly, very discouraging, but inevitable). From this, I hope things turn out better.

Next, I've also learnt what an awesome class I have. Thank you 05, from the deepest, bottom-most, truest depth of my heart. You all have simply made NJCIP so much, much, more enjoyable for me. I can't imagine what life would be like in NJ if not for you guys. (: Thank you Alison and Rachel for the concern over that night. It's hard facing up to people whom I know and am close to while a part of me is wretched, torn and helpless. Thank you for your hugs, encouragement and never-ending support. (: Ser, while it hasn't been long, thank you for your forever sweet words and thoughts. You're always very huggable too :D I'd prolly go into an essay if I continue to rattle on about each and everyone one of you, but in short, I'm so fortunate and proud to be in 05 (: It seems like you all are always there understanding how it feels like, whether it is like shit or gaowei or rojak. You all mean the world to me (:

So about how I feel about the end of the examinations. Glee. Fucking Glee. I mugged my shitass off for these papers. I mugged like there was no tomorrow. I mugged like how I needed to mug so as to keep me alive. And I hope my results prove it. I really do. I've never wanted it so bad, for various reasons. And I've realized that as each Ass Week progress, I always talk about how much fucking effort I have put into it, like I've never done before. Damn. What the hell is it going to be like for A's then. Fuck. Whatever the results now, I just really really hope that it proves the amount of effort I have put in. I really gave it my all. Please. I do not underestimate myself. In fact, I think I think quite highly of Me. I want to prove it to you, that my best, has yet to be; that I will not disappoint you. I will keeping having faith in myself. I will be strong, I will.

And this is where I thank you, 05, again, because I think it is only you who is truly able to sympathize and feel the way I do. Thank you for understanding and ranting with me about how fucking pack the exam schedule and syllabus is, about how fucking tired each of us are, and about how life just basically sucks. hah. I guess we bonded through those sessions as well, hadn't we (:

So here come's nothing with holidays, which I do hope they act like holidays and not just a relaxed school term. Ha. But I'm pretty excited as well. Late nights and late mornings, outings and relaxation, sports and feasting! ♥ I hope all turns out well and not like last year's June hols!

Oh, and btw, I'm sorry for the course language. Because I realize that as I grow up, some things cannot be better describe than them. Ha.

& I have alot to say, just some are more suitable for different people, because these suited people can feel better. I can keep rattling the same thing over and over cause I cannot get the feeling of satisfaction off. But if you do not like it, please tell me, I'll keep myself mum. Somethings are only meant for some people.

I'm tired. I don't feel like thinking or feeling anymore. Maybe numbness is good.

Bye memories. I build dams quite well.