The battle with the heart can be won

Should I give up?

Or should I just keep chasing pavements,

even if it leads no where?

Dilemma.

This whole year's been packed, jam packed to the brim with no space for inhalation. So there, the holidays finally come, where I thought I could relax, and truly take a break, without having anything in the back of my mind, constantly chattering, reminding me of some undone assignments. Now, left with only one, but the undoubtedly most tedious of those, you, are blocking my way. So should I just give you up, put you down?

We all do things with the mindset of wanting to do it well, giving it our best. So what if at the mid-point, we've come to realize that trudging on wouldn't allow us to produce the result who aimed to achieve initially? Would settling for second best work, or putting it down? I've longed long enough for this holiday to come, and was, with all my heart, intending to spend it as a real holiday. Time where whatever you do whenever you do, doesn't quite matter; passing time doing really nothing at all. Prolly the only genuine break, if obtained, I would have as well, seeing that the next two years would prolly constitute with tugs and struggles and battles with my notes, as I race towards A Levels. So, where does this lead to? Freedom vs Fight.

I'm afraid to disappoint. I know if I were to give up at this junction, I would definitely disappoint you, greatly. Yet, if I don't do so, when the final product is submitted, and if it just isn't up to standard, wouldn't I be disappointing you just as equally?

On the contrary, maybe if I just stop thinking negatively, I can do it, can't I.

I don't want to lose steam yet. I need some time to collect my feelings and gear up for the next two years. I am not a robot. And I don't intend to be one.

Btw, Thank you, Rachie. Thank you for always being there to hear me out, and telling me you love me. Saranghaeyo. ♥

Oh, and I personally handed part of my first pay to Puo Puo today. She was so happy. It made me so happy, too. This is the least I can do, for all that she had given me through all these years.