Gold Digger

Friday morning, school at 8am for lectures that begin at 11.30am.

This Sabah thing is really demanding.

A really quiet morning in a sparsely populated school, or maybe not; everyone's just conglomerated at the same area, leaving 80% of the school's place empty. Should be glad, shouldn't I? Could self-declare king-dom of the rest of the space and dance around without people judging. Hah.

Some good time to reflect, rather.

Just me, the iMac and iPod. :)

Where there's gold, there's a gold digger

Where there's gold, there's a gold digger..

Seems rather apt, huh.

Thinking back about this year, so many things have happened, which are almost innumerable. As this chapter of my life is reaching a closure, a new one is beginning. These 3 years in NJ have been.. indescribable. Along meeting the best people in the world, there's also been the best and worst thing that I've experienced. Never have I cried so damn much in a year, never felt this amount of stress, fear and exhaustion, but have never felt so much love and care and share- the main stuff that have kept me going on and on and on, despite all the obstacles.

I've always felt that our IP batch is the unluckiest of the lot, the most detested of the lot (apart from the few outliers, of course); but I've always felt the proudest of our IP cohort. There's so much we've gone through together and individually, so much that has brought us closer and also apart. And despite everything, always proud to be in IP :) We'll make next year a blast; no more thunders and chides by the teachers and principal. And along the way, there lies my dearest 05. Forever 23. 'nuff said.

3 years. Wow. Never thought it'd end initially when I just entered. And yet, here we are, reaching the end of our J1 year and another step closer to meeting the grueling A levels. Wow. Just this thought is really enough to give me shudders. These 3 years have really flew past and i've honestly never really given it good thought about how they've been; summing them up in activities, feelings or emotions, am pretty sure I'd never experience it ever again. Along with the satisfaction and disappointment, it has also been so damn exhausting. Just thinking about it makes me tired already. Heh. Feels like I'm running this never-ending race; when there's something that ends, there's something else to begin/continue. But I must admit that it was always painful; fulfillment and joy did knock on the door a couple of times. :) But I'm already beginning to miss it. Next year will be a blood-sucker year and its only gonna get worse.

Now all I really want, is just some time alone, with me, my books and bed. Ok, maybe a cup of hot cocoa would be good too. hee.

Or, maybe not.

Maybe i never really wanted to slow things down, but to continue running this rat-race and pack myself with activities from dusk to dawn and dawn to dusk again. Maybe this never-ending fire to try something new, to make things better is really what I'm looking for.

Now all that is left, is to convince myself that what I want most is the latter.

Someone to stand by me? Nothing has ever been this easy.

And I'm not ready to elaborate, and maybe I will never be.

And here, I leave you alone, til my return next year.