Picking up

It's back again - those feelings of insecurities and uncertainties.

Insecure and uncertain enough that keeps me wondering and wandering what things are gonna be like if this goes on. Feels as if I can't figure you out - and going by what I heard The Gentle Bones play yesterday - yea, perhaps 'Elusive' would be an apt description.

Anyhow, still wondering if you ever really meant all those things you said about me - constantly wanting to quarrel, not managing my time properly, being gloomy, not as cheerful, not too smart, ok dumb, gotcha. lol and blah.

I mean it doesn't really matter..

but it sure as hell does create some kind of doubt in me.

I don't think i'm that bad, right? Yea, we have different views, different perspectives, different ways of thinking. I mean you can't expect everybody to think, act and be alike right? Granted. But I respect your views, but i think i'd tell you mind either because i don't think they are invalid. Maybe you don't have to agree with me completely, but perhaps its worth a penny or two of your consideration.

Anyway, still can't figure. But shall just let it be for the meantime. Too much to handle now, i not only need a timeout. Would be great if i could feel as if i've got some support from you, rather than just constant bashings and put-me-downs. It's kinda getting harder to talk to you..

(sigh)